USW: Tip the World Over on Its Side
GNOMON Questionnaire 38547
Please answer all questions truthfully and to the best of your ability and as succinctly as possible and in complete sentences (where applicable).
Enter your email address
[Jones’ email address]
Please enter your full name
What is your age?
Please describe your race/ethnicity
Have you ever been accused of a crime?
Have you ever been convicted of a crime?
Have you ever been guilty of a crime?
Please describe your current occupation. How many other jobs have you held before your current one?
Mind control. Blue.
What is your current address?
[Current hotel address]
What is your highest level of education?
What is the subject matter of your highest college degree? (If “No official degree” or “High school diploma,” answer with “N/A.”)
Is there currently an emblem on your blouse? Describe it.
Please describe the contents of your right pants pocket. (If you do not have a right pants pocket, answer with “N/A.”)
Please describe your favorite alcoholic beverage. If you do not imbibe alcohol for personal or religious reasons, please imagine a drink you would like to try and describe it.
Handed to me by a trusted source.
The trolley problem describes a situation wherein a train is approaching several people tied to a track. Your only choice is to let them die, or divert the train to a track where only one person will be killed. Which option do you choose, and why?
Open a hole for the trolley into an Otherspace.
How many hours have you been awake today? (Express your answer in integers, please and thank you.)
Please view this series of moving images and synchronized sound.
While viewing the above, please describe your emotions while doing so.
Astounded at your hair.
Please describe your exercise routine this morning.
Normal. Some part of my day has to be.
Which horror movie monster do you think is the deadliest?
Which one do people watch the most while driving?
Please complete the following phrase: A STITCH IN TIME
Did you ask Time’s permission first?
You are perceived as adjacent to the phrase “Gamma Soldier Sojourns.” Could you explain the significance of this phrase, please?
Xbox game in development?
What is your favorite color?
Other: I won’t tell you
Describe an embarrassing incident from years ago everyone else has surely forgotten but you occasionally recall and cringe.
There was that time… waaaaait a minute. You almost had me.
What is the difference between a duck?
Who is your favorite person in the whole wide world? Have you told them?
How does this photograph make you feel?
If you killed someone, how would you try to get rid of the body?
You have just been set on fire. There is a dull, thrumming, burning pain in all of your extremities, and the sulfurous stench of burning skin fills your nostrils. Please describe the first thought to cross your mind.
What is your most retrospectively disturbing incident of masturbation?
Truthfully, not telling.
When was the last time you tasted blood? Did you like it?
Until last evening, you were staying at the Sheraton Gateway Los Angeles Hotel, room 238. Could you please describe your reasons for leaving?
Needed a change in scenery.
Indicate whether you have heard of the following organizations:
Other: Have they heard of me?
You are finished.