Leah Fitzroy


Leah Fitzroy is Jasper Fitzroy’s middle child and only daughter, younger than Melker and older than Baltazar. Fittingly, she falls somewhere between Melker’s business acumen and Baltazar’s love of the night life, wanting to elevate the family brand as part of her goal to make life more enjoyable. (She appreciates what Kim Kardashian has done with fame while also being intensely jealous of her.)

Leah would probably just be another rich girl from the Hollywood Hills were it not for some strange experiences she has had. Back when she was a teenager, she got a hold of some intense herb (she’s still not quite sure if it was hash, marijuana, salvia, or something even weirder) that sent her on a horrifying trip. And the dealer described her trip precisely. (She even kept the pipe, although she never uses it. It’s still too fresh in her mind to try again.)

Since that time, she’s known there’s something out there, and she’s been going on a New Age sojourn to try to find it. She’s reinvented herself time and again, going from a slightly esoteric rich kid to a New Age guru. (She usually likes to downplay the role of plastic surgery in her transformation.) Through it all has been her best friend, Bex, a fellow seeker (although much more grounded than herself).

She’s met a few others along the way. Back when she was still eating meat (and solid food, for that matter; she’s on an all-vegan juice diet these days), Jones introduced himself to her when he noticed she was making the Kabbalistic tree of life with her french fries.


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He’d had a strange experience or two in his time, and the pair have been good friends ever since.

She met another seeker, Kevin, when he was the courier sent to deliver a piece of artwork to her. Having also encountered some odd things in his time, he stayed in touch.

As it turns out, this would be intensely useful when Jasper Fitzroy started acting strangely.

Rounding out her circle of friends is her boyfriend, Lorenzo. They get along well because their New-Age-mysticism-with-binge-drinking-and-psychotropics lifestyles really complement each other.

Of course, when Leah’s full of self-loathing, she likes to call up Iggy, her father’s new secretary. They keep their affair pretty quiet, although Jasper seems to be aware of it. Iggy seems to think highly of her, though; he likes how she’s constantly in the process of becoming.

Image retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2570013/Human-Barbie-Valeria-Lukyanova-reveals-STARVES-Breatharian-believes-live-air-containing-cosmic-micro-food.html on April 29, 2016.

Leah Fitzroy

USW: Tip the World Over on Its Side wildechilde